WELLBEING Highly self-disciplined, classic perfectionists are adept at presenting in a uniform way, making it difficult to take their emotional temperature. Are they thrilled? Enraged? Having the best orgasm of their life? Who knows. Theyre either stoic or smiling as if theyre about to have their picture taken. While its easy to interpret this engagement style as inauthentic or closed off, its anything but. Classic perfectionists arent trying to be impressive or distance themselves as much as theyre trying to offer to others what they most value themselves: structure, consistency, predictability, an understanding of all the options so as to make an informed choice, high standards, objectivity, clarity through organisation. PARISIAN PERFECTIONISTS HOW THEY PRESENT: They insist on proving themselves singing for their supper even when nobodys asking them to. Left unchecked, they prioritise other peoples pleasure and comfort over their own. Lauren texted me before our session: running 10 minutes late. sorry, worst day. Tall and beautiful (and caught in the rain), she came in soaked, looking like a Barbie doll that had been unceremoniously left in the backyard during a storm. I took her coat, and in between the time I took it and turned around to hang it, she started crying while apologising for crying. We discussed a meeting shed had earlier that morning, which she perceived to have gone disastrously. When pressed, she acknowledged that the idea she presented dominated the conversation, and the team chose to spotlight her work at an upcoming conference. I waited for her to finish before I said: Help me understand the problem. Lauren blurted her response out in exasperation: Because I can tell she doesnt like me, and I hate it! Parisian perfectionists want to be perfectly liked, an achievement other types of perfectionists dont prize. When a Parisian perfectionist is having trouble connecting to someone with whom they want to connect, it can all feel for naught. PROSCRASTINATOR PERFECTIONISTS HOW THEY PRESENT: They excel at preparing, can see opportunities from a 360-degree perspective, and have good impulse control. Left unchecked, their preparative measures hit a point of diminishing returns, resulting in indecisiveness and inaction. Layla planned extensively for her departure from work. She read every book on career transitions she could find. She identified multiple other professional paths she could see herself pivoting towards. Layla also regularly attended networking events that she got nothing out of. I could so easily imagine her standing in an awful sports bar, surrounded by seven-too-many TVs, smiling, and waiting. Layla written in blue Sharpie on her sticker name tag. A Styrofoam tray of cubed warm cheddar next to half a sleeve of Ritz crackers that are still in the torn-open bag. What a waste of this brilliant persons energy. The worst part? She knew she was squandering her time. Layla was fully aware that shed done everything she needed to do, except choose a date to leave. Procrastinator perfectionists wait for the conditions to be perfect before starting. Dwelling in hesitation, they live alongside the void that forms within you when you dont do the thing you most want to do. MESSY PERFECTIONISTS HOW THEY PRESENT: They are superstar idea generators, adapt to spontaneity well, and are naturally enthusiastic. Left unchecked, they struggle to stay focused on their goals, ultimately spreading their energy too thin to follow through on their commitments. I rarely give homework in therapy, its not my style, but Pei-Han was an exception. I challenged her to stop watching documentaries for 90 days. I practically begged her. Pei-Han was a messy perfectionist through and through, so anytime she watched a documentary on anything (the hotel industry, sushi, migrant workers), shed lunge herself full speed ahead in the direction of a new documentary-inspired goal, all the while trying to juggle the multiple other objectives she was attempting to achieve online training for yoga teacher certification, applying for residency at Brooklyn Arts Council, decorating her apartment in preparation to become an Airbnb Superhost, the list continued. Pei-Han couldnt help the way her brain lit up like a fireworks show when she became emotionally attached to a topic she found interesting. Messy perfectionists are in love with starting. Unlike their procrastinator perfectionist counterparts, nothing brings a messy perfectionist more joy than beginnings. INTENSE PERFECTIONISTS HOW THEY PRESENT: Effortlessly direct, they maintain razor-sharp focus on achieving their goal. Left unchecked, their standards can go from high to impossible, and they can be punitive with others and themselves for not achieving impossible standards. On the corner of Broadway and Liberty Street in Manhattans financial district stands a classic 1960s building where I once had an office. Like several buildings in the city, the security at 140 Broadway requires you to confirm your identification at the concierge desk in the lobby so that you can receive a badge to enter the electronically guarded elevator bank. Dawn spent the first five minutes of her session explaining to me why the security system was inefficient and idiotic. The more she spoke, the more her annoyance morphed into antagonism. The antagonism wasnt directed towards me, or herself, or the security personnel downstairs. It was an antagonism against the void. The antagonistic energy behind intense perfectionism isnt always existential; intense perfectionists can be provocative. They are wild cards; some demonstrate extreme selfcontrol, while others are reckless (temper tantrums at work, making impulsive decisions out of anger, etc.). Their off-the-charts work ethic is more like a work mandate and can take a steep toll on their physical and emotional wellbeing, as well as the quality of their interpersonal relationships. Self-confessed perfectionists BEYONCÉ Im a classic perfectionist and a Virgo; Virgos are serious perfectionists! I try not to be so hard on myself and my intention for my Renaissance album, was to create a place to be free of perfectionism and overthinking. A place to scream, release, feel freedom. MELANIE HARRISON Hotelier I wholeheartedly identify as a messy perfectionist. The concept of too many ideas and too little time springs to mind. I am obsessed with the details at the hotel [The Harrison Chambers of Distinction, Belfast]. As I am sucker for anything with a story, I have to show so much restraint at auctions, in antique shops and shopping online and remind myself that one day I am going to run out of space. FERGUS OHALLORAN General Manager Im a hybrid of all these perfectionist types. When it comes to my work at The Twelve, Galway, I have very high expectations. There is a constant clock ticking in my head where everything seems to be going too slowly. My colleagues have learned to adapt to me and likewise, I have learned to adapt to reality somewhat. NICKI HOYNE Accessories Designer Im definitely an intense perfectionist at work. I will throw out a whole idea if I cant get it exactly as I want it. I aim high, comparing myself to Chanel or Dior, and then I feel disappointed and defeated when I dont achieve impossible goals. However, I am a procrastinator perfectionist on home decor projects. I put them off and then never actually finish anything! THE GLOSS MAGAZINE February 2023 33 NEW SEASON FASHION / WINES WITH ALTITUDE / FASCINATING NOVELS / A LONDON LOWDOWN / THE HIDDEN ROLES OF WOMEN AT WORK MAGAZINE FEBRUARY 2023 with THE IRISH TIMES ww gloss.ie the w. DUSTING FOR DOLLARS THE RISE OF THE CLEAN~FLUENCER + PERFECTIONISTS A fancy penthouse ROMANTIC RESTAURANTS Erot CONTENTS IN THIS ISSUE THE GLOSS MONTHLY REMINDER SIGN UP to receive a monthly reminder by email when THE GLOSS is out so that you never miss an issue. Simply register your details on WWW.THEGLOSS.IE. PU B LI S H E R JANE MC DONNELL EDITOR SARAH MC DONNELL 12 D E PU T Y E D I TO R PENNY MC C 60 SECONDS TO PLUMPER SKIN: with vegetable squalane CLARINS.COM a duo of hyaluronic acids + organic leaf of life extract New Hydra-Essentiel [HA2] Triple action to plump and hydrate with a duo of hyaluronic acids + organic leaf of life extract. Our duo of hyaluronic acids instantly plumps and hydrates skin. Clarins exclusive organic leaf of life extract boosts GLOSSIP TWO UP Gloss~ip Sweet on these! R #ROMCOMCORE Make time for things you love in February TON Channel the new #romcomcore aesthetic inspired by favourite 1990s and 2000s movies (Clueless, My Best Friends Wedding, 16 Candles). Wear Mom jeans, velour pieces and baby doll dresses ... STA Photos by Flavien Carlod, Baptiste Le Quiniou, for advertising purposes only. TASCHEN. French Art de Vivre Bubble 2. Curved 3-4 seat sofa, designed by Sacha Lakic. £5,390 reduced from £6,340. Upholstered in Orsetto Flex fabric. Fully tufted. L. 248 x H. 80 x D. 132 cm. Price valid until 30/06/2023 MOODBOARD 7 February Mood 1. IM GIVING as good as I get with Wexford chocolatiers www.beanandgoose.ie Totally Love Collection. 2. IM LOVING The Louvre for giving house room to Antonio Canovas Psyche Revived by Cupids Kiss. 3. IM A WILLING slave to love in a Síne Vasquez Pillar T-bar pendant in F-PACE Official Fuel Consumption Figures for the F-PACE 23MY R dynamic HSE in mpg (I/100km): Combined 11.4 l/100km 2.4 l/100km. CO2 Emissions 275g/km- 49g/km. The figures provided are as a result of official manufacturers tests in accordance with EU legislation. For comparison purposes only. Real FASHION 2 Spot The Trend 3 Transition to spring in low-key looks, says Aislinn Coffey 1 5 4 8 BOTTEGA VENETA 7 6 9 DELIGHT IN THE EVERYDAY One of the biggest highlights of the SS23 shows was model Kate Moss sashaying down Matthieu Blazys Bottega Veneta catwalk in a casual, logo-less che Official Fuel Consumption Figures for the 23MY Range Rover Sport in mpg (I/100km): Combined 19.4 l/100km 0.9 l/100km. CO2 emissions 266g/km- 20g/km. The figures provided are as a result of official manufacturers tests in accordance with EU legislation. For comparison purposes only. Real world figur FASHION COBALT BLUE RALPH LAUREN TRENDS WE L O V E LONG SKIRTS ALEXANDER MCQUEEN JASON WU Prepare to see Yves Kleins highly pigmented blue everywhere. A spike in cyan reflects fashions inclination towards more vibrant palettes this year. HOW TO WEAR Head to toe or paired with neutrals like cam Extra Space. Effortless Organisation. Discover the new Siemens XXL American Style Multi Door fridge freezers. Need help choosing your kitchen appliances? Let our Siemens appliances experts guide you. Visit our Siemens Appliances Showroom. BSH Home Appliances Ltd, M50 Business Park, Ballymount, Dub TORY BURCH FASHION SEQUINS TIN EN SHEER JOY Each designer put their own spin on this sheer, sultry, lingerie-inspired trend. HOW TO WEAR Its about showing a little, not a lot. Wear a crisp T-shirt under a sheer slip dress or with a sheer-panelled skirt. For a more daring look, show off abs and a NEW ARRIVALS www.newbridgesilverware.com Newbridge - Athgarvan Road Blanchardstown - Shopping Centre Tallaght - The Square SC Limerick - The Crescent SC Dublin - Arnotts Kilkenny - High Street Cork - Mahon Point & Merchants Quay SAINT LAURENT S FASHION SH E CARGO PANTS DRIES VAN NOTEN M A K E -U P U P D A TE C H O Were opening our eyes to a lighter way to wear mascara brown is a somewhat softer and more relaxed option than black for defined lashes with less drama. Try Tilbury Pillow Talk Push Up Lashes TRAVEL ADVERTORIAL CELEBRATING 20 YEARS IN THE BUSINESS OF FASHION Thank you to our valued and loyal customers for your support since 2003 Sara Roka Sportmax Fabiana Filippi Rosso 35 Hayley Menzies High Castanea Soru Tissa Fonteneda Provincial House, Bishop Street, Newcastle West, Co Lim RABIH KAYKROUZ MO NIQ UE LH UIL LIE R HELEN CODY MONIQUE LHUILLIER FASHION FASHION Olivia Uniacke Gene vieve Mora no Cam pori NUPTIAL NOTES O Hot pink, pockets, pants suits and pjs are trending for weddings this year, says Penny McCormick NADINE MERABI ne of the most Instaworthy INVESTMENT CLUB Cally Beaton Laura DeVoy THE GLOSS GOODBODY INVESTMENT CLUB The Fantasy Trading Competition For every woman who wants to know more about building a financial plan, developing investment knowledge is a key ingredient. Starting this month, our Fantasy Trading Competition comprises MENS STYLE Menswear Notes STYLE CV 1 Pack light and smart for a weekend away HARTFORD 2 3 4 I f youre escaping for the bank holiday and booking somewhere snug (try newly spruced Liss Ard Estate in West Cork; www.lissardestate.ie or Longueville House in Mallow; www.longuevillehouse.ie), ma ADVERTORIAL Port House Ibericos FOR THE HAPPY GRAZER PORT HOUSE IBERICOS is a supremely atmospheric and cosy restaurant with flickering candles and exposed brick walls. The rear terrace is perfect for summer dining and the menu is all-encompassing in its range of tapas and pintxos. The selection HEALTH SexyYOGA Kate OBrien investigates how yoga can enhance and improve sexual health and relationships I n 1990, Sting, a yoga devotee, made a throwaway comment (which has haunted him for life) about the seven-hour tantric sex sessions he enjoyed with his wife Trudi Styler. At the time, he sai Our masterpieces, require a master. The difference is Gaggenau. Create your masterpiece with ours. The new combi-steam ovens and oven range open up a world that is waiting to be mastered. Every Gaggenau piece is distinctively designed and crafted from exceptional materials to offer professional per bespoke hand crafted living FOR EVERY ROOM EVERY DETAIL BES PO KE M ADE AND FITTED SHOWROOM BY APPOINTMENT D RUMLECK, CAST L EBEL L ING HAM , C O LOUTH T: 0 4 2 9 3 7 26 25 I N FO @ O C O N N O R S O FD R U ML EC K . I E OCONNORSOFDRUMLECK.IE CU STOM DES IGNED AND FITTED FOR EACH LIVING S PAC E C USTO MI SED C O LO UR A ND DESI G N NO SPECK LEFT BEHIND Clean-fluencers like Mrs Hinch are making millions demonstrating their highly evolved cleaning skills on Instagram. Sam Johnson-Schlee wonders at their appeal S ophie Hinchcliffe set up an Instagram account to document her approach to cleaning in March 2018, and her account r LIFESTYLE CLEAN-FLUENCERS Search CleanTok on TikTok and youll instantly be presented with all manner of cleaning hacks, from stop-start videos filling aesthetically pleasing colour-coordinated fridges, to tips on how to clean your sofa (one method involves a microfibre cloth, dishwasher tablet, and WORKING LIFE Hello, Im here to help Women assume all sorts of unpaid roles in the workplace, from cleaning (literally) to emotional cleaning (read on to find out what that is). Gabriella Braun explores the toll this kind of micro gender inequality takes ... S unlight bounced off the sleek, glass- WORKING LIFE WE ALL NEED TO ACT BY LOOKING OUT FOR THE MICRO GENDER INEQUALITY GOING ON AROUND US ALL THE TIME AND THE INSIDIOUS AS WELL AS OVERT WAYS WOMEN ASSUME THE ROLES OF CARER AND CLEANER, AND MEN LEARN TO EXPECT THIS. Mary told me that the thought of networking filled her with dread; she 0404 65000 info@newcastledesign.ie WELLBEING Perfectionists Identify Yourselves! T Therapist Katherine Morgan Schaflers research reveals perfectionism is a phenomenon, not a disorder The night before our wedding, my husband and I decided to sleep separately, so that each of us could spend the evening in the most relaxing way possi WELLBEING Highly self-disciplined, classic perfectionists are adept at presenting in a uniform way, making it difficult to take their emotional temperature. Are they thrilled? Enraged? Having the best orgasm of their life? Who knows. Theyre either stoic or smiling as if theyre about to have their pi BEAUTY Beauty Notes RIXO A FRED MEYLAN spa treatment is truly welcome in February even better when its right on our doorstep. Were excited to visit Irelands first Clarins Boutique and Skin Spa, just opened on Wicklow Street in Dublin 2. Ive experienced Clarins facials elsewhere (most notably at Get closer to whats important Special Offers Take time to rejuvenate at Killeavy Castle Estate Relax your body and mind with a luxurious stay at Killeavy Castle Estate. One of Irelands most unique getaway locations, Killeavy Castle Estate provides the perfect setting for guests to truly switch off FOOD Cook or Go Out To Eat? Trish Deseine weighs the options for Valentines Day I ts a tricky one, Saint Valentines Day, for the over-16s. Restaurants can quickly become theatres of self-consciousness, particularly those deemed romantic all year round and expected to hard deliver on February 14. WINE WINE A Higher Calling Julie Dupouy finds wines with altitude Douro Valley, Portugal A s many of you dig out your thermal layers and head to the ski slopes for your first break of the new year, Dry January will be a fading memory. The idea of a refreshing aperitif or a giddy lunch to break DINING TROCADERO, DUBLIN 2 THE ROOM Dublins self-proclaimed theatre restaurant, Trocaderos lilting jazz, vintage light fittings, plush red velvet and signed portraits of actors who have dined there add to its clublike allure. ON THE PLATE The nostalgic theme continues on the menu with retro favourit BOOKS BOOKS Reading Notes Orna Mulcahy finds fascinating books for February T HE LAST TALE OF THE FLOWER BRIDE (Hodder & Stoughton, €19) is the first adult novel from best-selling American YA author Roshani Chokshi and its very good. A dark love story with a Gothic feel, it recalls the best, mos TRAVEL Glossy Stays Plenty of hyped openings this spring mean the London hotel scene is thriving, says Penny McCormick One of the Terrace Suites CHECKING IN: THE MARYLEBONE VIBE A fashionable five-star townhouse in the heart of Marylebone village. ROOMS 252 I The Peninsula London is in a prime TRAVEL ADVERTORIAL EVA BERGS TRAVEL DIARIES The seasoned traveller and Pilates pro finds much to love about Kolanaki, Athens The Lobby area Stavros NiarchosCultural Centre CHECKING IN: THE OTHER HOUSE, SOUTH KENSINGTON THE VIBE Pied-à-terre meets private club this is guests other house for as l INTERIORS The living room Home Suite Home W Years in the planning, the interior of this elegant Dublin penthouse has all the features of a luxury hotel suite PHOTOGRAPHS BY HELEN CATHCART hen a London-based Irish developer bought the famous Oscar Taylors restaurant and Island View Hotel on the Co INTERIORS The hallway of the apartment was inspired by the elegant retail spaces of luxury brands. A stairway lined with mirrors, like those at the Chanel boutique at 31 rue Cambon, and hand-painted silk wallcoverings, is a glamorous introduction to this very luxurious space. The scalloped pendant INTERIORS EVERY INCH OF THIS ELEGANT PENTHOUSE WAS DESIGNED AND FINISHED WITH EXCEPTIONAL ATTENTION TO DETAIL. ABOVE In the bedroom, with its art deco feel, every piece of furniture was designed to fit perfectly, while the pink marble en suite bathroom is pretty and luxurious. BELOW LEFT The guest This Glossy Life ALEX BRAMELL Step inside the playful London home of artist couple Charlotte and Philip Colbert S The Colberts in their double-height living room. The sofa and armchairs are by Oliver Gustav. The coffee table is by Buchanan Studio x Charlotte Colbert. urrealist artists Charlotte a 46 February 2023 THE GLOSS MAGAZINE CHRISTOPHER HORWOOD (from four townhouses), with additional help from Buchanan Studio, former set designers known for their cool aesthetic. La Colombe dOr art hotel in St Paul de Vence in the South of France, where magnificent art is coolly and casually displa ALEX BRAMELL CHRISTOPHER HORWOOD CHRISTOPHER HORWOOD ALEX BRAMELL THIS GLOSSY LIFE THE GLOSS MAGAZINE February 2023 47 THE GLOSS MAGAZINE February 2023 47 ENVIRONMENT A Drop in The Ocean Holly Hughes discovers a community of composters Virginia OGara of the Cork Urban Soil Project (CUSP). F ood waste is not a pollutant, its a treasured resource, Virginia OGara, one of the founders of the Cork Urban Soil Project (CUSP), tells me. We are speaking i Book a design consultation and discover a new way of living. mcnallyliving.ie Book a design consultation today +353 1 660 4856 46 Serpentine Avenue Ballsbridge Dublin 4