10 Arts&Books THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Bottle Man A young man has relationship problems. This is the eighth and final short story by writers from overseas living in Ireland, and by Irish writers who live or have lived abroad Nicole Flattery T he morning I moved into the bottle, I was at home with nothing else to do. Many people before me have been in the same position, but have somehow avoided detaching their limbs and re-assembling themselves inside a bottle like a miniature ship. It wasnt dark inside indeed, it caught nice light and I stood straight up and accepted my new glass confines. Limbs came easily away from the body and Id always liked bottles. My father won a globe-shaped drinks cabinet when I was a child, and I remember popping open that globe and being delighted by all it could store. I think this is where my interest in science came from the idea that a father, my father, could raise a club high and that a golf ball, with speed and velocity, could spin over the heads of lesser golfers, resulting in a drinks cabinet being placed prominently in the hall of a family home until a woman, not my mother, smashed it to pieces with a three-iron. Ive no background in science, and know almost nothing about the physics involved in a situation like that. Id finished work a few weeks ago. Id finished work permanently and, to pass the time, had been reading up on science. When I entered the bottle I kept my glasses on in case there was anything worth examining. Nothing that unfortunate had happened lately. I had one standout bad day. Unlike most people, I could go hours without panicking. Then all the panic would come at once. There was no even distribution. I was either suffocating or I wasnt suffocating. Id been look- No matter what she did with the ingredients, it always came out looking the exact same. Thats how it was like history. It just repeated and repeated ing for somewhere to put myself, a safe place, a space with minimal obligations for some time. In that bottle, I couldnt touch anybody. Outside that bottle, I just didnt exist. Am I lying when I say nothing unfortunate had happened? Absolutely. You cant write these things off. Recently, Id gone to visit my girlfriend in her workplace. I sailed in the front door of her building with my hands in mock-surrender as if to say, I pose no threat. Im here to see the woman I love. Not that the security guards were heavily armed. This isnt going to be one of those stories where everything seems normal, but at the end, boom, big reveal we live in a totalitarian state. And sure, yeah, a while back, Id heard words like you might hear in a totalitarian state. Words like cold and unbearable. But in a totalitarian state, any small talk can suddenly turn, theres a couple of tricky, high walls and maybe some heavy surveillance. And what else? You feel like youre being buried alive all the time. And theres fire. Flames everywhere. And thats it, I think. I dont know. Im more of a science guy. History is a bit like my girlfriends cooking, which was one of our specific, humorous bits. Id take a bite and mime dying. This is the last time I eat anything of yours, Id say. This is the last time. Now, Im nostalgic. Not for the cooking, which was bad, but for the humorous bits. Everything, all of it. No matter what she did with the ingredients, it always came out looking the exact same. Thats how it was like history. It just repeated and repeated. Yuck, history. In my girlfriends office there were many people, many faces and a lot of quiet. I felt foolish being there, unwanted, like a bland man booed off a dating show. I felt like a shirt basically. A shirt with a collar on it. I was a piece of clothing. It didnt help that the room was the way rooms are with chairs and tables and computers and women in it. To relax, I pictured my girlfriend in this room. There she was by the water-cooler, being self-deprecating. There she was by the far-right window, being self-deprecating. I told her to cut that behaviour out. She told me it integrated her with the other women. I told her the other women were half-wits. She told me I didnt know what it was like. I told her I did, that women liked to cluster in small-to-medium sized groups and be competitively self-deprecating, but next time it occurred just to ignore it, pretend it wasnt happening. Go outside. Have a drink of water. Walk it off. Hello, I said to the receptionist, Im here to see my girlfriend. This woman was called Judith. My girlfriend asked me once who I would like to sleep with if I wasnt sleeping with her, as if who you slept with was a matter of choice and not just total chaos. I think I was supposed to say a celebrity someone rich, thin, criminally unavailable. I said Judith. Wed been having a good day right up until that moment. Judith had beautiful eyes, like clear, understanding pools. And when I stood at that desk, those pools looked at me like they had never seen me before in their life. Hi, I repeated my girlfriends name, Is she here? Judith stared studiously past me. She was managing many different calls at once. What I liked most about Judith, apart from her general air of kindness and great capacity for joy, was her ability to handle calls. I dont know much about celebrity women, but I doubt they can handle several administrative situations. Theyre probably so pampered they cant even handle one. Not Judith, who I believe was raised in a single-parent home, a home allowed no luxuries, where she had to assume responsibility early. These things matter to me: character, resilience. I imagine she smelled sensible, like disinfectant. That person doesnt work here, Judith intoned. Shes left? I dont know that person, she said, switching expertly between calls. Shes worked here for three years. I dont know that person. Ive long held the belief that there are two types of women in the world: those who become more attractive as you get to know them, and those who become less. Off Judith went, with all her belongings, to Out of Ireland Summer fiction series the second camp. Judith, I said and made an unfortunate yoo-hoo motion, a motion that could be perceived, if you didnt know me, as condescending, we met at the Christmas party. I regretted that motion almost as soon as it happened. I thought of my fathers golf ball soaring high, in wrong, zigzag directions. I remembered him telling me the best way to ruin your game is by thinking about your game. I dont know if that advice was referring to golf. I still dont know. The first time I met my girlfriend she came straight up to me and asked my name. Thats known as a statistical fluke. Sometimes, its just simple. Judith looked like she was doing calming exercises in her head, as if she were mentally squeezing a stress ball. Judith. I said her name like that, just once, and a man appeared, a man I felt a strong dislike for, a dislike possibly encoded on my DNA. He rested one hand on Judiths shoulder, as if to reassure her. Was Judith crying? I thought of a holiday, a church in Rome, when my girlfriend, stupidly, bent down to light a candle. I told her not to. I told her it wasnt a good idea. And then, you know what? Flames everywhere. On her head. Thats how I felt at that moment, panicked, like my head was on fire in a foreign church. They were happier times, when my girlfriend existed. We dont know the person youre looking for, the man said, and if you dont leave we will call security. It was obvious that this man was together with Judith, or had a bad crush on Judith and wanted to appear big and that was fine. It seemed indelicate to get in the way. I understood crushes. I understood the primal urge. I wanted to wink but was unwilling to risk anything after the earlier disastrous motion. So I left. As I walked through the quiet of the office again, I sincerely started to come around to the idea my girlfriend didnt work here. Maybe she had never worked here. And so what? She went out during the day and got herself iced coffees from nine to five, and came home and lied to my face. Well, I couldnt deny it to her. I felt kind of proud and not a small bit turned on. I thought of the technical planning involved. I thought of the oceans of flowers I had sent to her desk, gestures of forgiveness, and wondered if Judith had left them meanly in a cupboard to die. I was still marvelling at my girlfriends brazenness when I broke out into the bright sun, and a boy punched me in the face and stole my wallet. He kicked me too. I dont remember the kicking motion but I do remember saying, Please stop. I remember hearing, Please stop and I think that small voice was mine. The next morning, after this spectacularly bad day, I inserted myself into the bottle. When I was in the bottle, my father came to visit. My father once looked like a rich, young man but now he looked like a poor, old father. It had been a long time since Id seen him. You know, fathers they get to a certain age and you dont know what to do with them. You put them in front of the television, theyre not happy. They think the programmes are conspiring against them. You stop visiting. He said he wasnt surprised about my current situation. He asked me what the climate was like in the bottle. Not a problem for me, old man! I said. That nickname was a way of letting him know his days were long-numbered. Wom- en always liked my father. They always liked him, until they grew dubious of him. Then, they hated him and quietly folded their clothes into bags. I didnt covet him this. He was handsome and people, female people, hung around, expecting things. It was its own sort of jail. I always thought he looked lonely, like he was watching life from the car park. In westerns, they call that the strong, silent type. My father, the strong, silent cowboy. Parents are whatever way you spin them. I told my father Id misplaced my girlfriend and had been brutally mugged. He said he wasnt surprised. I asked him what it was like when that golf ball swung upwards and he knew he was going to win the tournament. Beautiful, he replied. Then he was gone and I was left alone with my fantasies of being at sea. Standard freedom fantasies. I remembered the holiday in Italy, my girlfriend and I standing in the white surf. Then, my girlfriend was in front of me, her body distorted by the glass. She had a woman with her. Whos that woman? I asked. Hes not usually like this, my girlfriend said, indicating the bottle. The woman had an authoritarian look that many people, myself not included, enjoy. All sharp edges, but boxy, like a spiky square. I felt the way anyone feels when they see their girlfriend with a new partner sad. Except worse, because this new partner was of the completely wrong gender. And I thought, this is it: Ive been left for a woman. I will join the league of men who have been left for a woman and, in that moment, I wished my father dead so he wouldnt get grim satisfaction. I wondered how I would be categorised in the league of men. I was learning so much about my girlfriend, what she liked and what she didnt like. We need to talk about our future, she said, I pointed at the woman and asked, Is she going to be in our future? So I made an impassioned plea. I figured it was time. I said you probably think it wont work out between us because I live in a bottle now, but thats not the case. I thought of the holiday when she wouldnt let me take her photo because I didnt know her angles. Now, I realised her best angle was when I was inside the bottle and she was outside it. I wanted to put my arms around her and kiss her, but I couldnt. Then, I noticed her arms and legs were covered in bruises, waves of blue and purple, like shed been dragged along the ground and kicked. And I thought shes been mugged too! Possibly by the same man. We could hunt down our mugger together. Before Id a chance to say anything, she interrupted I cant see you any more, she said carefully, like shed been trained. She turned away and I saw the right side of her face was burnt, badly burnt and scabbed. A memory of my voice saying, Women always liked my father. They always liked him, until they grew dubious. Then, they hated him and quietly folded their clothes into bags this is the last time, and then the stinging, final sound of flesh on fire. My girlfriend buried herself into the womans shoulder, like thats what the woman was there for. As they stood up and left together, I remembered our holiday and the woman I loved smiling shyly at the edge of the ocean. Its warm, I said, when you get in. You just have to get in, and I took her hand in mine. NicoleFlatterysfictionandnonfictionhas appearedintheStingingFly,theDublin Review,TheIrishTimesandBBCRadio4. SheisthewinneroftheWhiteReviewPrize 2017.Hershort-storycollectionis forthcomingfromtheStingingFlyPressin 2018.FormerlyresidentinNewYork,she nowlivesinGalway A one-woman assault on certainty Nicole Flattery Forest Dark By Nicole Krauss Bloomsbury, £16.99 T here is a creative writing exercise that goes something like this: describe a house from the point of view of a man who has recently lost his son, without mentioning the son, the death or the man. I may be misremembering youre probably, considering the directive, allowed mention the man. A more difficult exercise than this is writing a review of the novel Forest Dark, itself about faulty memory, without immediately disclosing that its author, Nicole Krauss, was once married to Jonathan Safran Foer. Forest Dark is a novel of two parts, of which the most interesting and substantial chunk concerns a Brooklyn-based author, handily called Nicole, who walks out on her marriage to her successful author husband in favour of sitting alone in a hotel room in the Tel Aviv Hilton. How much of this is ripped from Krausss real experiences? How much does it matter? Unlike her husband, who recites facts at parties incidentally, a list of Hollywood starlets who are half-Jewish and who, in his own words, makes it his business to know everything, Krauss adopts a humbler position. Unreliablenarrators In Forest Dark she abandons knowledge, and all demonstration of it, in favour of chasing the life of the absurdist, and master of the unknowable, Kafka. Non-linear, unconventional, full of evanescent moments and featuring not one, but two, highly unreliable narrators, the main criticism that could be levelled at Forest Dark is that it doesnt always make sense. But why should it? Why do we expect art to make sense when life makes none at all? As Krauss explains, the dissolution of her marriage was largely because, to my husband the world was always what it appeared to be, and to me the world was never what it appeared to be. Throughout Forest Dark she launches a one-woman assault on certainty, exploring the endless expanse of not-understanding that surrounds the tiny island of what we can grasp. The novel opens with Epstein, a wealthy Jewish man either experiencing early senility, or enlightenment, or a mixture of both, giving away all his accumulated wealth in a rush of generosity. He also claims, after his late divorce, he does not wish to be sure. Had lost his trust in it. After an unnerving incident in a cloakroom where someone mistakenly, or purposefully, takes his coat how does it feel on them? he wonders. Does it fit? he decides to journey to Tel Aviv. In Brooklyn, a young novelist smarting from the sudden, irrecoverable revelation, the uncanny discovery of a moment, that her marriage is over, dreams that she is writing her own life from within the Tel Aviv Hilton. Obsession It recalls an obsession of Kafkas can you be here while also being there? Is there really any way away from here, or does here follow us wherever we go? Deeply sceptical of her current reality, and infatuated with the structure of the Hilton, Nicole travels there and becomes the most modern of figures the writer who writes about not writing. She describes the death of her marriage. She feels her mind disintegrating. As a dance teacher tells her: Feel ready to ownership of Kafkas estate, and of Kafka himself who does Kafkas writing belong to? Who does her own writing belong to? Author Nicole Krauss: Her marriage to Jonathan Safran Foer broke up because to my husband the world was always what it appeared to be, and to me the world was never what it appeared to be. PHOTOGRAPH: MELANIE DUNEA VIA GETTY IMAGES snap. But dont snap yet. In Tel Aviv, after encountering a mysterious, possibly sinister, figure who praises her for how her writing engages with Jewish history, Nicoles life becomes less Kafkaesque and more, well, Kafka-based. Without actual consent or enthusiasm, the author is soon dragged into the mess of the High-profile Judith Butler, in an essay on Kafka, said, its not enough for a person or a work to be Jewish; they have to be Jewish in a way that can be capitalised on. Krauss works through the idea of the writer as a commodity (and a high-profile literary marriage as a commodity) but comes to no grand conclusions. Like writing, like life: there is no departure and there is no real arrival. Forest Dark may be too open-ended for some, the plot is almost nonexistent and, of what is there, Krauss seems almost uninterested in, but she writes with true emotional acuity and tenderness. She reminds us that a public narrative is also a private, and usually deeply painful, narrative, and, in doing so, reclaims it as her own. She also reclaims Kafka not as a form of cultural property but as a writer of hope. Always on the threshold of escape, Kafka was never only nihilistic and dark. There is a door in Kafka, Krauss stresses. Or as a line she discovers in one of his diaries puts it You have the chance, if ever there was one, to begin again. Dont waste it. THE IRISH TIMES WEEKEND Inside l a i c e p s l a n i f d All-Irelan Fashions newmood TheGloss rell in Jackie TyrEEKEND rk le C y ch la a M Seán Moran Nicky English SPORTS W n Page 5 a g g Keith Du Miriam Lord in Waterford S PLU irishtimes.com Saturday and Sunday, September 2 and 3, 2017 3. 2 HomeNews THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Rapid-build housing for homeless completed Plan to provide floating homes TIM OBRIEN First rapid-build housing finished since 22 homes in Ballymun in 2016 Residents of newly-built Finglas estate given keys to their homes OLIVIA KELLY Dublin HomeNews 3 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Hes not a role model . . . I dont want kids to look up to that Ciarán DArcy Fighting words at Conor McGregors former boxing club in Crumlin Watching the Money Fight of the millennium from the gym where Conor McGregor first laced up a pair of 4 HomeNews THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Appeal over Waterford Crystal factory site Owners of site angry at its inclusion on States vacant sites register Almost 100 sites now earmarked for vacant sites levies from 2019 CIARÁN DARCY Clockwise from top: A group of revellers reflecte HomeNews 5 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 All-Irelandhurlingfinal Whats in a county? 114,641 Population of Waterford. Among under-35s 26,286 are male and 25,882 female 153,733 The average house price in Waterford Jack The most popular boys name in the county while Saoirse is th 6 HomeNews THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Donegal bridges final gaps after all hands on deck flood response Cement firm says fuel would cut emissions Irish Cement seeks to burn waste such as used tyres under 10m proposal DAVID RALEIGH in Limerick Peter Murtagh A move by Irish Ceme THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 HomeNews 7 R2 Sinn Féin criticised for rejection of DUP plan Record numbers seekschoo1 costshelp CONOR POPE Consumer Affairs Correspondent ONeill says DUP knew proposal aimed at restoring Assembly would be rejected Irish language Act should not be us 8 WorldNews THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Editor:ChrisDooley fordesk@irishtimes.com Phone:01-6758000 Merkel and Schulz to meet in highly anticipated German election TV duel UK will not take part in race to the bottom, says Davis Brexit secretary criticises Trumps isolationist rhe WorldNews 9 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 President continues to blow conventions of US politics out of the water A Suzanne Lynch AmericaLetter August is traditionally a slow month politically but not any more s members of the US Congress enjoyed another week off before returnin 10 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Obituaries IRA commander who tried to atone for killings Seán OCallaghan Born: October 10th, 1954 Died: August 23rd, 2017 Seán OCallaghan lived in fear that his former IRA colleagues or dissident republicans would assassinate him. Which is why, he sa 11 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Opinion&Analysis Inside Politics Pat Leahy Governments spin machine needs engine overhaul I f you enjoyed the relative quietude of politics and politicians in recent weeks, sorry, but the holidays are over. Politicians were back at their desks thi 12 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Opinion&Analysis Breda OBrien Paddy Powers Virgin Mary GAA stunt rings hollow S omething interesting happened this week. The Daily Edge, the entertainment-news arm of thejournal.ie, posted an utterly tasteless satire about Electric Picnic. It parod 13 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Comment&Letters THE IRISH TIMES 24-28TARASTREET,DUBLIN2 Saturday,September2nd,2017 irishtimes.com EPA report Paying lip service to water quality T here has been a slow but catastrophic declineinthequalityofwaterinourlakes,rivers and estuaries. Th 14 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 BusinessToday ISEQ6,709.23+88.04 FTSE7,438.50+7.88 DOW21,987.56+39.46 EURO£0.9152/$1.1869 Start-up wants to get bank of mum and dad lending to first-time buyers Homeoptions offers rent-to-mortgage scheme for those locked out of market Were a landlo BusinessNews 15 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Business comment Cantillon Fed in a bind on direction of interest rates The US economy delivered 156,000 new jobs in August. Its not a poor figure but its lower than the 180,000 expected by Wall Street in the closely watched nonfarm pay 16 Markets THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Europestarts Septemberon firm footing Iseq in positive territory as Ryanair, Paddy Power Betfair and CRH among the gainers A record plunge in pharma firm Indivior weighed on British FTSE 250 index A clear and straightforward operating margin BusinessFeatures 17 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 OHara has a crafty plan for IFSC brewpub Sorcha Hamilton OHara becomes a brewer/publican with launch of Urban Brewing docklands venue Weve always had a great pub culture in Ireland which weve exported around the world but our beers 18 Bulletin Page Simplex No: 16,351 Follow @simplexword THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 ChurchNotes Churchservicesavailableatirishtimes.com/church-services Thinking Anew Faith is a slippery rock R ACROSS 1 Branch of biology that studies the microscopic structure of tissue (9) 9 19 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2, 2017 TRAVEL & TOURISM MOTORS FOR SALE HOLIDAYS ABROAD FAIRVIEW MOTORS Fairview Dublin 3 CROATIA CROATIA September Breaks from €479 (01)7759300 www.concordetravel.ie MADEIRA MADEIRA September Offers from €599 (01)7759300 www.concordetravel.ie MALTA MA 20 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2, 2017 Thomas PaTrick 77 Grafton St, Dublin 2 01 6713866 www.thomaspatrick.com Hogl Black, navy, grey or raspberry suede The Management and Staff of BUSHELL INTERIORS Ltd. wish to express our sympathies to our C.E.O. BOB BUSHELL on the death of his mother R2 THE IRISH TIMES irishtimes.com Sports Weekend Saturday,September2nd,2017 EditorMalachyLogan Phone01-6758366 emailsports@irishtimes.com Pro 14 victories for Munster and Ulster Rugby:page4 Joe Ward through to another World final JohnnyWatterson:page12 Soccer World Cup qualifier ONeillhoping 2 Soccer World Cup 2018 Qualifying THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 R3 Group D Georgia v Republic of Ireland, Live RTÉ2, 5pm Previews Ivanovic looks past Moldova roll-over Former Chelsea defender says Serbia want six points from two games Group D Serbia v Moldova Partizan Stadium, 5 SoccerWorldCup2018Qualifying 3 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Group D Georgia v Republic of Ireland, Live RTÉ2, 5pm Ken Early Arter can be the middle man for years to come N Poorcrowds,poorfacilities,match fixingscandals...soundfamiliar? Emmet Malone SoccerCorrespondent Money i 4 Rugby THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Guinness Pro14 HungermayexisttofollowCheetahs andSouthernKingsintoEurope Gavin Cummiskey Schmidts control over the best players is a conundrum to be resolved Its that time of year again. The hurling final is upon us. Electric Picnic brings the THE IRISH TIMES irishtimes.com R2 All-Ireland Hurling Final Saturday,September2nd,2017 EditorMalachyLogan Phone01-6758366 emailsports@irishtimes.com Player guide JackieTyrrell onWaterford NickyEnglish runstherule overGalway Profile Derek McGrath Agenuine leaderof Deisemen Malachy Clerkin The W 6 Hurling All-Ireland final special Minor final THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Interview Iggy Clarke Highly ratedCork theteam tobeat Match preview Cork v Galway Croke Park, Sunday, 1.15pm On TV: TG4 The path from minor to senior grade is well worn by Galway hurlers, and with 17 of Hurling All-Ireland final special 7 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 lege in the 1970s. Some of them had been there 40, 50 years and then they had gone. It was only the start of it. They could probably see what we could see later. . . the whole impact of the institutional and control m 8 Hurling All-Ireland final special THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Selectedteams:Player-by-playerprofiles JackieTyrrell onWaterford 1StephenOKeeffe NickyEnglish onGalway 2ShaneFives 3BarryCoughlan 1ColmCallanan 2AdrianTuohey 3DáithíBurke (Tourin)@dfives555 Age:28Height:6Weig THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Sports 9 R2 AmericaatLarge Ian ORiordan Hardworkbrings Waterfordwithinreach ofLiamMacCarthyCup T he quickest route from St Annes in Cappoquin back to Villierstown is to turn right at the school gate, head down along the Blackwater and on through Dr 10 RacingProgramesandresults THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Hamilton 4.15 Mitchum 4.50 Equitant 5.25 Riponian 6.00 Isabella 4.15 Going: Good to Soft CAPTAIN JOHN 6.35 Duck Egg Blue 7.05 Camacho Chief 7.35 Jessinamillion 5.25 AMATEUR RIDERS HANDICAP (6) 6f, 4yo plus £3,120 1 (5 RacingNewsandprogrammes 11 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 News Russellcasereflects scrutiny onriders Jockeys spokesman says matter has turned into a two week press-fest Russell faces appeals hearing on Tuesday over striking horse with his fist BRIANOCONNOR The organisation that repr 12 Sports THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 R2 Sideline Cut Keith Duggan IfwesplittheDubsintotwoteams,whogetsintoCoppersforfree? Dublin supporters should be spitting mad at the mere idea. Since last Sunday the calls to cleave the county or, more accurately, the luminous city into tw THE IRISH TIMES MAGAZINE Winning dinners Donal Skehans school night family feasts Jamie Oliver I just want the next 10 years to be different Simone Rocha The Irish designer on how motherhood has changed her attitude to work and fashion 7-day TV & Radio 02.09.2017 Budget freeze We figure out how Make your home feel like summer all year round. Upgrade your glass and improve the comfort of your home. Whatever the weather outside, youre warmer Enjoy a cosier, more comfortable home inside when you retrofit new Low-E-PlusTM Up to 70% better than standard double-glazing heat-retaining glas 18 Women are the worst offenders for policing other womens bodies G ood news: Rihanna is fat. Mariah Carey is fat, too, and worse shes overly fond of Photoshop. Yay! Amal Clooney is not fat, shes something even better: dangerously thin for a woman who just gave birth three months ago. Britney S BLASKET CASES Dúisigh do Dhúchas (Awaken your Heritage) is a 3-day retreat on the Great Blasket Island next weekend, Sept 8th-11th, which aims to be a radical reappraisal of the Irish college experience, focused on re-wilding and re-tuning the mind and body through the Irish language. Therell be swe Index RoomToImprovexDaniel ODonnell Dermot Bannon goes to Donegal. A genius move HighRollers Great Temple Bar skate shop Sparklyboots Inspired by Saint Lauren, get your sparkle on Dollard&Cossaltbeefsandwich Always room for something reuben-esque NarcosSeason3 Now on Netflix, there goes the we WHAT WE LIKE SCHOOL Compensate for early starts and scratchy uniforms with these cool-for-school things Compiled by Dominique McMullan Chalkboardslowcooker, 39.99,RussellHobbs Coolerbag,4, FlyingTiger Above,ASUSVivoBookMaxX44114 laptop,349.98,CurrysPCWorld Lionbackpack,33, CathKidston Right,Elv ROSS OCARROLL-KELLY Its the Vico Road. Do you think anyone around here cleans their own gaff? T en oclock on Monday morning and theres a ring on the door. I hobble down the hallway on crutches to answer it and it ends up being oh happy day! a pretty lady. Hello, she goes, Im Etain Lawless from t NO FLY CRUISING Holidays from Dublin & Cobh from 6s5 €5 pp After a SOLD OUT 2017 Programme we are delighted to announce that Magellan is back Home-Porting in Ireland for 2018, with an incredible 11 departures scheduled. Date 02-July 14-July 23-July 30-July 11-August 26-August 04-September 21-Sept COVER INTERVIEW Olivers twist Having left school at 16, Jamie Oliver now has restaurants all over the world, a TV production company and a charitable foundation. Money is not his motivator, he says, but with his business recently taking a 100m hit, he sees a new path for the next decade, he tells M properly. After Christmas, Oliver sent his team an email saying: Guys, you know the year you think youre going to have? Well, guess what, its not happening. I wrote this in three months, we filmed this in four months, we had eight programmes commissioned and I loved it so much after four programmes COVER INTERVIEW GIMME FIVE FIVE FAST QUESTIONS FOR JAMIE OLIVER Im going to support him all the way. Business hasnt been been all plain sailing though. Oliver has had a few bruising business encounters too, and is wary now of mixing business with friendship. His current net worth is estimated at £1 Sponsored BE ONE. INSPIRE ONE Be open to change Jennifer English studied science, but now she heads up the marketing team for Baileys M arketing executive Jennifer English reckons an ability to embrace change is central to success. Its a philosophy she brings to the workplace. Among her most rece INTERVIEW I dont get creative block After 70 years of writing and illustrating books for children, Shirley Hughess creative well still runs deep, and her powers of observation are as sharp as ever, she tells Anna Carey I dont get creative block, says Shirley Hughes. I dont know why, but I always knows that small children react very strongly to their favourite picture books, which Hughes believes can play a particularly important role these days. One of the challenges today is to protect them from being visually overstimulated, clicking on from one image to another much too quickly, she says INTERVIEW Playing by his own rules The LA dream has quickly become a reality for Dubliner Jacob McCarthy, writes Catherine Conroy W hat are the rules for making people believe in you? asks Christopher, a young man with Aspergers syndrome, played by newcomer Jacob McCarthy in the upcoming Irish fi FASHION # FASHION FORWARD DEIRDRE McQUILLAN & DOMINIQUE McMULLAN TREAT FEET TO FRENCH STYLE What is it about the French and good style? Arnotts welcomed French footwear brand Jonak to its newly revamped Shoe Gallery recently, and the combination of everyday basics and high-end must-haves have us a INTERVIEW Irelands fashion superstar Simone Rochas fame has eclipsed that of her father, John Rocha, but she remains connected to her family and roots writes Deirdre McQuillan I ts tricky trying to find De Beauvoir Town in east London, a Hackney mix of low rent shops, council blocks and early Vic Atlantic, she has been celebrated for her strong, modern feminine aesthetic and defiant independence. I am an emotional designer and very inspired by art. Clothes are so physical so it is about how I can translate [ideas] into the clothes I feel very connected to what I do and am very tactile and t INTERVIEW From my father I have learnt an amazing sensitivity to texture, colour ... he has always made sure that I made the right turning in business Books about photography, art and literature dominate the shelves in her office, a testimony not only to her wide range of references but also to her BEAUTY BEAUTY REPORT LAURA KENNEDY Heard what the herd is buying? T Autumn trends are all very well, but dont feel pressure to buy something you hate, or dread wearing here is a turn toward colour this autumn/winter, which is a very cheering antidote to the weather as we trundle into autumn. Pe FOOD Take five with Jamie Oliver The Naked Chef knows you can do a lot with a little in the kitchen. Here, he shows how simple it is to rustle up fast and tasty meals with just five ingredients STICKY LAMB CHOPS 1.6lambchops,French-trimmed (600gtotal) 2.200gmixed-colourbabyheritage carrots 3.8clov QUICK ASIAN FISHCAKES 1.1stickoflemongrass 2.6cmpieceofginger 3.Halfabunchoffreshcoriander (15g) 4.500gsalmon fillets,skinoff, pin-boned,fromsustainable sources 5.4teaspoonschillijam Makes 4 Takes 22 minutes Whack the lemongrass against your work surface and remove the tough outer layer. Peel the g FOOD DONAL SKEHAN Schoolnight dinners? Winners S Prepare for the return to routine with meals that should satisfy the whole household hall we talk about back-to-school suppers? You are probably still clinging to the long days of summer. One of my first summer jobs was stocking shelves in a scho HALLOUMI BURGERS WITH SHAVED VEGETABLE SLAW SEED-STUFFED ROAST SWEET POTATOES A simple way with a roast sweet potato. Ive included an easy filling here but the basic roasting process allows for a whole range of fillings of your choosing. 4largesweetpotatoes(about500g) 11/2tbsrapeseedoil 200gkale,le FOOD REVIEW CATHERINE CLEARY Embrace the pear Good veggie fare in a beautiful cafe run with a smile and a very good heart T he new monks of Clondalkin have arrived. Converts form an orderly queue. Twin brothers, Stephen and David Flynn, are the brains behind The Happy Pear, the Greystones food p FOOD FOOD FILE MARIE-CLAIRE DIGBY SEASONAL SUPPERS JP McMAHON Though you may not have noticed, condiments over the past few hundred years have become incredibly sweet. What started out as a method of preservation, transformed, with the advent of industrial sugar production in the 18th and 19th cent DRINK WINE JOHN WILSON No-nonsense wines Zinfandel is a chameleon, and far from a wimpy wine H ere lies the last wimpy wine, RIP. is emblazoned on the stone as you enter Ravenswood winery in Sonoma, California. The motto No Wimpy Wines has become part of the folklore surrounding founder Joel Pet TRAVEL CHECK-IN JoLinehan REIMAGINED ROOMS London The Town Hall Hotel, at the centre of Bethnal Green, is named after its former life. It opened in 1910; today the hotel offers exquisite dining experiences and palatial art deco-inspired suites. townhallhotel.com Morzine VIP Skis new penthouses w TRAVEL A thrifty Iceland trip Its a challenge to spend three days in one of the worlds most expensive cities on a budget of 400, but we still have 50 to spare, writes ER Murray A s I land in one of the priciest cities in the world reportedly 21 per cent more expensive than New York I fail at th ing, so its the best time to relax with an Icelandic beer or two. On Austurstraeti Street there are several lively bars with outdoor tables and happy hours from 5pm until 7pm and you can then move on to the old harbour, where offers stretch until 9pm. Whatever season you visit, night-time walks alon TRAVEL Into the great wide open The Rabari migrate huge distances across India with their animals, Kate Eshelby got a fascinating insight into their unique lives T he animals are returning on a biblical scale, flooding into this green expanse, like grains of sand rushing into an hourglass. Water ing and printing some of Indias finest textiles. Kuldip takes me to visit several of these cottage industries, many of which continue to use natural dyes. First stop is Bhujodi, a village just outside Bhuj, full of hand-woven shawls, scarves and blankets in bright pinks, greens and purples. The foll CYCLE SERIES Kerry at its best and most scenic T With little traffic this route is not to be missed, write Donnacha Clifford, David Elton he Gap of Dunloe and the Black Valley are among the among most renowned areas for tourists in Kerry, and with good reason. The glacial landscape appears timel Caribbean Dreams & Cruise Holiday Deals Incredible Mexico, Dominican Republic, Cuba, USA & Cruise Holidays from Topflight, Irelands award winning holiday company IVE TO T O P DOMINICAN REPUBLIC FL EASTERN MED CRUISE R IVE TO T O P 8 DAYS FLY & CRUISE FL K BE FO RE 9TH SE Royal Caribb Japan: Land of the rising sun 13 days from only €4,449pp Selected departures from May to October 2018 Japan - an ancient culture of emperors, fierce shoguns, samurais and brutal martial arts. Yet its also a place of gentle geishas, colourful kimonos, exquisite garden design and Zen Buddhism. How did TAILORMADE TRAVEL WORLDWIDE & FLIGHTS 01 881 4953 LUXURY TRAVEL IN FIRST & BUSINESS CLASS 01 881 4954 NEW Say hello to the fastest booking engine in travel AWARD-WINNING SERVICE Down Under Seat Sale Perth NEW T R A I L F I N D E R magazine out now call for your FREE copy Find the best value TRAVEL JOAN SCALES Travel advice on... finding the right spa About20years agowhen hotels began addingspasto theirfacilities it seemedlike itwouldjust be afad. Butnowthere ishardly ahotel aroundthe countrywithoutsome formof spafacilities.One Irish spa website lists192propertiesaround thecountry, ra From Lapland Magical trips to Lapland 1 to 5 Day Packages Prices starting at €630* www.visitsanta.ie (01) 241 2385 *Prices per child, from €660 per adult helpers@visitsanta.ie to Wonder Land Family Trips to Orlando from €699 per person www.gohop.ie (01) 241 2305 info@gohop.ie TV&RADIO FILMSOFTHEWEEK GoldenEye Sunday,RTÉ2,6.05pm Pierce Brosnan (above right) makes his debut as British secret agent James Bond in one of the long-running franchises best entries. The plot is very loosely based on Ian Flemings novel Moonraker, and sees 007 embark on yet another globe-trotting RADIOCHOICE SATURDAY The Teatro Regio in Turin hosts a barnstorming production of Bizets Carmen, starring Anna Caterina Antonacci in the title role. Opera Night(RTÉ Lyric FM, 7pm). SUNDAY AedínGormleysSundayMatinee (RTÉ Lyric FM, 1pm) features a concert from the Victoria Hall in Geneva where the R SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 2 MUSICALSHOWCASEElectricPicnic 2017RTÉ2,8pmEoghan McDermott and Blathnaid Treacy introduce highlights from the event, including gigs by those appearing on the main stage. Soraiya Ryan and some special guests are also on hand to report from the picnic area itself. RTÉ ONE RTÉ2 NEWSERIESTheXFactorTV3,8pm Dermot OLeary takes charge of another run of the popular talent show. Judges Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh, Nicole Scherzinger and Sharon Osbourne also return, and get things under way by auditioning the first batch of hopefuls. BBC TWO 3e CHANNEL 4 6.45 The NFL Show R S 8 SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 3 NEWSERIESAnRílDealTG4,8.15pm Judges Breandán de Gallaí, Sibéal Davitt and Roy Galvin are back for a second run of the celebrity dance competition. Stay tuned for more musical shenanigans at 9.30pm when Daithí Ó Sé introduces coverage of Celtic Connections. RTÉ ONE RTÉ2 TV3 TG LASTINSERIESStrikeTheCuckoos CallingBBCOne,9pmThe search for the truth about Lula Landrys sudden death takes an intriguing turn, putting Strike and Robins lives in danger in the process as they delve into the pasts of the models adoptive and biological families. BBC TWO 3e CHANNEL 4 6.00 The Ins MONDAY SEPTEMBER 4 NEWDOCUMENTARYIrelandsHealth DivideRTÉOne,9.35pmDr Eva Orsmond investigates the impact that your socioeconomic standing can have on the length of your life, revealing in the process that those struggling to make ends meet live on average six years less than the wealthy. RTÉ ONE SHORTDRAMAShortscreenRTÉ2, 12.15amStephen Bradys compelling tale focuses on Richard, who is living a nightmarish existence in a rundown apartment complex in inner-city Dublin. His one ray of light is his girlfriend Karen, but is he right to rely on her devotion? BBC TWO 3e CHANNEL 4 6.00 Flog It TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 5 NEWDOCUMENTARYTheFarthest RTÉOne,10.15pmA fascinating insight into the journey of Voyager, the tiny spaceship that is currently around 12 billion miles from Earth. Theres also a chance to hear from the remarkable scientists who designed and built the craft. RTÉ ONE RTÉ2 TV3 NEWSERIESDoctorFosterBBCOne,9pm Suranne Jones returns as the titular character, and the story picks up with her two years after the events of the previous series. Shes been living alone since the departure of her husband, but hes about to make a dramatic reappearance... BBC TWO 3e CHANNEL 4 6.00 WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 6 NEWSERIESCelebrityOperation TransformationRTÉOne,9.35pm X Factor singer Mary Byrne, beauty expert Triona McCarthy, chef Gary OHanlon, social media influencer James Patrice and singer Kayleigh Cullinan are the stars taking part in the programme. RTÉ ONE RTÉ2 TV3 TG4 BBC ON NEWSERIESBackChannel4,10pm David Mitchell and Robert Webb team up once again, this time ditching their Peep Show characters in favour of playing a would-be pub landlord and his long-lost former foster brother who enter into a battle of wits. Julia Deakin also stars. BBC TWO 3e CHANNEL 4 6.00 Flo THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 7 NEWSERIESSúileLondainTG4,9.30pm Cameras follow the fortunes of six young Irish-speakers as they begin new lives in London. Their progress is charted during their first 12 months in the city, offering a unique insight into what it is to be an emigrant in the 21st century. RTÉ O NEWSERIESFindMeaHomeRTÉOne, 8.30pmFilmed during the spring and summer of this year, the latest run charts the progress of more folk searching for somewhere to live, including first-time buyers who are shocked that a mortgage can cost less than paying rent. BBC TWO 3e CHANNEL 4 6.00 Flog It! Trad FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 8 NEWSERIESGoggleboxChannel4,9pm The previous run only ended in June, but here we are again, preparing to watch people watching TV. Its a simple format, and one that has grown in popularity, making stars of its participants. Expect more hilarious opinions from this series. RTÉ ONE SITCOMFUNComedyPlayhouse MrWinnerBBCOne,10.35pmSpencer Jones stars as hapless Leslie Winner, who always seems to be at the epicentre of impending disaster, so expect sparks to fly when he plans to propose to his girlfriend during an eventful trip to London. BBC TWO 3e CHANNEL 4 6.00 Flog It! Tra RADIO NEWMUSICNovaSunday,RTÉLyricFM,8pm Composer Roger Doyle claims to have written Irelands first electronic opera, Heresy, which premiered at the Project Arts Centre in November 2016. Now theres a chance to hear it via this programme. SATURDAY RTÉRadio1FM:88.2-90.0;95.2MHz,LW: 252kHz.Newsontheho CELEBRITYCHATTheJoeJackson TapesRevisitedMonday,RTÉRadio1,10pm Eartha Kitt was one of Jacksons first interviewees back in 1987, so he takes great delight in getting to listen to their extraordinarily candid chat all over again. TUESDAY Playlists.3.00Radio2Playlists:Great BritishSongbook.4.00Radio2P ARTSROUND-UPCultureFileWeekly Friday,RTÉLyricFM,7.02pmLuke Clancy presents highlights from his daily cultural reports on Lorcan Murrays Classic Drive. Expect lots of interviews as well as music, media, art, technology and design news. THE IRISHTIMES THURSDAY HOMEDELIVERY SERVICE ANEWSPAPER TOYOUR THEirishtimes.com/archive TIMES WE LIVED IN Play it again, Sam Published: November 4th, 1972. Photograph: Dermot OShea T o sing, or not to sing? That is the question. Especially when the conductor has a baton with a hook on the end of it. If you hit a wrong note he might fish you out of the back ASI Skin Save the date - Lose the fat John us for our CoolEvent to learn more about Coolsculpting, The worlds #1 non-invasive fat removal treatment that freezes away treated fat cells for good, without any surgery or downtime. Thursday 7th September at 8.30am 5.30pm* Call today to reserve your sp THE IRISH TIMES irishtimes.com Weekend Review Saturday,September2nd,2017 EditorConorGoodman Phone01-6758000 emailweekend@irishtimes.com Arts& Books Radioreview: MickHeaneyon a vintagePat Kenny performance. Page8 Eamon Dunphy ... ...talksfootball, politics,family andRoy Keanewith PatrickFreyne.Pa 2 NewsReview THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 DUBLINSSQUATTERS: EMPTYHOUSESAREAWASTE One groups solution to the housing crisis is to move into vacant properties and develop their skipping skills Fiachradh McDermott I ts free space under your feet. You feel like youre in your own liv NewsReview 3 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 IHAVEABUDDHIST VIEWOFTHINGS Eamon Dunphy football pundit, journalist and podcaster talks Roy Keane, family life, politics and official Ireland I stood at the dole queue with my father, and I remember how good people were humiliated by t 4 NewsReview THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Life Abroad Tokyo, Japan The threat keeps getting more serious Andrew McCarthy While North Koreas missile was 1,000km away from Tokyo, the threat is real, and few experts are willing to predict what will happen next I THERESTAURANTATTHE NewsReview 5 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Are Strategic Development Zones, the model for a planned new town in West Dublin, the answer to the capitals housing shortage Olivia Kelly DublinCorrespondent S hannon in Co Clare was for decades the States only modern planned town. Dev 6 Environment THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Another Life Michael Viney A glossy puddle of marmalade with a sting to close whole beaches P ulsing forward in glancing light beneath the waves, it holds a fiery glow at its heart as if out to give fair warning. Fiery, indeed, can be t 7 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Arts &Books Ive been corrupted by pleasing people With his new series, Karl Ove Knausgaard, the accidentally bestselling Norwegian novelist, has discarded agony in favour of structure. He may be on to something Caroline ODonoghue I am sitting oppo 8 Arts&Books THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Culture Shock Gemma Tipton An English opinion about Ireland is as valid as an Irish one I n the United States, an artist paints a portrait of a dead black boy. At Imma, an art video looks at internment. Soon a mega-musical set in the Vie Arts&Books 9 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Like Brokeback Mountain, but with Yorkshire weather Francis Lees Gods Own Country feels like a career-launching film Donald Clarke L et us get the awkward question out of the way first. When Francis Lee conceived of Gods Own Country, a b 10 Arts&Books THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Bottle Man A young man has relationship problems. This is the eighth and final short story by writers from overseas living in Ireland, and by Irish writers who live or have lived abroad Nicole Flattery T he morning I moved into the bott Arts&Books11 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Striking across the sectarian divide An innocent abroad, with no irony filter NJ McGarrigle Beat: The True Story of a Suicide Bomb and a Heart Neil Hegarty By Rowan Somerville Struggle or Starve: Working-Class Unity in Belfasts 1932 Out 12 Arts&Books THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 An impressive Indian homage to King Lear Sarah Gilmartin NewFiction We That Are Young By Preti Taneja Galley Beggar Press, £9.99 N othing will come of nothing, King Lear warns his soon-to-be outcast youngestdaughter Cordelia after she r Arts&Books 13 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 Fragmented fairy tales and a death sentence Claire Hennessy YoungAdults I am a quick and boring little thing. Head down, hair neat, face low. Dont catch their eye. Thats sauce. And men will punish sauce. They call it love. Mixsharp femin 14 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2, 2017 ENTERTAINMENTS TOMMY SWARBRIGG PRESENTS In Association with Ashford Castle Hotel A GALA TRIBUTE TO ONE OF IRELANDS GREATEST EVER SONGWRITERS! A NIGHT TO REMEMBER You Raise Me uP 100 MILLION RECORDS SOLD & GUESTS STARRING The Songs and Stories o 15 THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2, 2017 CONCERTS The Guardian Whats on Stage The Times The Telegraph The Stage Actors Touring Company and Royal Lyceum Theatre Edinburgh The Suppliant Women Sept 27Oct 1 Gaiety Theatre Tickets from €16 on sale now dublintheatrefestival.com +353 1 6 16 NewsReview THE IRISH TIMES Saturday, September 2 , 2017 The Week In case you missed it Donald Clarke In pictures Tropical Storm Harvey in Houston, Texas The great doner kebab rush of 1982 People walk down a flooded street as they evacuate their homes after flooding in Houston, Texas. PHOTO HOT NEW HOTELS / WARDROBE UPDATES / KENNETH JAY LANE AT HOME / BEAUTY TRENDS / ROLE MODELS / BACK TO BLACK MAGAZINE SEPTEMBER 2017 with THE IR STAND UP & STAND OUT FASHION'S NEW MOOD FEARLESS, FABULOUS & FUN POWER PLAYERS CAITRIONA PERRY IN THE WHITE HOUSE VICTORIA BECKHAMS SECOND ACT JONATHAN PHOTOGRAPHED BY BRUCE WEBER CHANEL BROWN THOMAS, GRAFTON STREET, DUBLIN 2 CHANEL BROWN THOMAS, GRAFTON STREET, DUBLIN 2 CONTENTS INSIDE E THIS ISSUE STAND UP & STAND OUT PU B LI S H E R JAN E M C DO N N E LL E D I TO R SA RA H M C D O N N E LL S TYLE E D I TO R A I S LI N N C O F F E Y BEAUTY EDITOR SARA H HA LLI W E LL NEXT ISSUE ART EDITOR THURSDAY OCTOBER 5 L AU RA KE N N Y ASSISTANT EDITOR FEATURES SA ER B M E T SEP ~ GLOSS IP PEARLS of fashion wisdom ... Rejecting RUSHING WOMAN Syndrome ... Counting LITTLE BLACK DRESSES ... and GETTING FIT at all costs ... A worked for interior designer NICKY HASLAM before setting up her company. No longer involved, she is a trustee with the lovely charity F HUNTING & GATHERING 1 Channel theTrend 3 ISABEL MARANT 2 4 JASON LLOYD-EVANS 5 6 FIERCELY FEMINI NE ALL THINGS CONSIDERED ... Theres a new mood in fashion and its one of unbridled celebration of all things feminine. The steady slide into sportswear and trainers with everything is being sup CHANEL.COM THE NEW FRAGRANCE ROCHAS FASHION 5 Navy Alexia cashmereblend coat, d1,295, at Louise Kennedy, 56 Merrion Square, Dublin 2. 6 THIS AUTUMN Do you want to know what to wear right now? Weve compiled a list of our hero pieces for AW17 12 September 2017 THE GLOSS MAGAZINE 1. A CASHMERE COAT. This season we are al LOWDOWN HITTING THE HIGH STREET DRIES VAN NOTEN THE NEW PRIME The ageless generation (women of 40 and 50) hit the runways this season in place of SS17s octogenarians. When Belgian designer Dries Van Noten staged his 100th show in Paris, he sent a bevy of familiar faces down the catwalk: Amber Va LIntégral Anti-Âge Eye contour cream Lines, dark circles, puffiness, loss of firmness: the eye contour is the first area of the face to show signs of ageing. New. Sisleÿa eye contour cream integrates Sisleys latest technological breakthroughs in one single treatment. Smoother, firmer and more toned LOWDOWN Channelling Queen Elizabeth II on holiday in Balmoral ... even makes models look dowdy. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE J CREW STELLA MC CARTNEY We all know how it goes; what was cool last season is, apparently, so uncool this season. How to keep up? Dont. Trending items are also more expensive than MAX MARA, 723 LISBURN ROAD, BELFAST, BT9 7GU TELEPHONE: (+44) 2890 382796 EMAIL: SALES@MAXMARA-BELFAST.CO.UK LOWDOWN 1 RETURN TO THE SILVER SCREEN SAINT LAURENT ALL ABOUT YVES Two new museums are set to open this autumn in honour of designer Yves Saint Laurent. The first will be in Paris, in Saint Laurents couture house (5 avenue Marceau); the second in Marrakech, opposite Jardin Majorelle. Designed b ISABEL MARANT LOWDOWN ETITI ON WEAR IT WELL With the return to school and the end of summer, September always feels like the start of a new year. This month, make it your resolution to get your timekeeping in check with a new watch by Irish brand Ansley Watch Co, founded in 2013 by Arthur and E 08/17 Kildare Village 2017 *on the recommended retail price. New arrivals Discover more than 95 boutiques with savings of up to 60%*. Find your fabulous. AllSaints Anya Hindmarch Aquascutum Armani Asics Barbour Bedeck Boss Hugo Boss Brooks Brothers Calvin Klein Jeans Calvin Klein Underwea MOODBOARD Im soliloquising Molly Bloom: Even out of the ditches primroses and violets. 3 THE DARKEST NIGHTS PRODUCE THE BRIGHTEST STARS. 5 JOHN GREEN Im identifying with Cyndi Laupers A Memoir: from overcoming psoriasis and voice loss to hit musical Kinky Boots. 6 4 1 IF YOURE GOING THROUGH Editor Laura Brown at Acnes AW17 show. FASHION MICHAEL KORS Wardrobe BY AISLINN COFFEY NEED TO KNOW: ALEXANDRA GOLOVANOFF CAMEL COATS 24 September 2017 THE GLOSS MAGAZINE How do you make an effort without pulling the same go-to dress out of your wardrobe? Fancy pants are your golden ticket Introducing WILDE, its lush terrace and relaxing ambience that evokes a touch of 1930s glamour with menus that celebrate the finest Irish produce. TO BOOK, CALL: +353 1 646 3352 FOR ALL OTHER ENQUIRIES: WILDE_RESERVATIONS@DOYLECOLLECTION.COM Great shoes take you to unexpected places And our unique Insolia technology will get you there comfortably, too Top, €34 T43 6439. Skirt, €49, T59 4497. Boots, €70, T02 5895. ROI stores & online. Subject to availability. FASHION ISABEL MARANT STAND UP & STAND OUT Chanel space centre at the Chanel AW17 show. Inter-galactic, irridescent metallics and cosmic embellishments are set to soar. Get on board with sparkle; try a metallic jacket, glittery top even sparkly silver socks. Silver sequin top, Sandy Liang, at Har CEOL COLLEC TION WITH NAO M I C A MP BE L L See more at www.newbridgesilverware.com FASHION Amber Valletta wearing Mulberry. N O 21 D IO R ST E LL A M C ALTUZARRA C A R TN EY LO U IS V U IT TO N ALTUZARRA TO RY B U R C H Left: Black zipdetail leather boots, Prada. Right: Black lace-up leather boots, Christian Louboutin; both www.net-aporter.com. INDesign DESIGNING, WEAVING & TAILORING Men Women Accessories Home Magee of South Anne Street - Magee of Donegal - Magee at Arnotts Magee1866.com PRADA The new mood in beauty is both fresh and fierce. Its a celebration of everything that Instagram looks are not: uncontrived yet polished, natural yet groomed. Accentuate your best features and experiment with flashes of brilliant colour whipped-on red for lips, petrol blues for eyes and a ge 19 Oliver Plunkett St, Cork 021-4279909 mc.store.cork@gmail.com 2 Strand St, Malahide 01-8456989 mc.store.malahide@gmail.com SOCIAL LIFE Clockwise from left: Kate Macklin; a dinner party at her home; the medieval village of Vigoleno; pastries from Tosi in Salsomaggiore; a cycling stop to enjoy the scenery; hunting in Piedmont with son Oliver. My GLOSSY WEEKEND KATE MACKLIN Founder of a furniture export company, Kate M Photo Michel Gibert. Used for reference. TASCHEN / www.sia-deco.fr French Art de Vivre Long Island. Sofa per elements, designed by Studio Roche Bobois. Coupole. Console and cocktail table, designed by Philippe Bouix. La Ligne. Floor lamp, designed by Angioni et Louvry. European manufacture. UNIT INTERVIEW LETS DO LUNCH by Heather Astbury PHOTOGRAPH BY ANDREW CROWLEY Maggie OFarrells new memoir, an account of near-death experiences, is an elegy of love for her family F eeling sorry for yourself isnt helpful, says Maggie OFarrell emphatically, with what I quickly learn is her signature n BUSINESS NEWS MAKING IT HAPPEN Backing women business leaders FASHION, POST-BREXIT THE IMPACT ON THE UK FASHION INDUSTRY WILL AFFECT US TOO ... A s we edge ever further into the murky waters of a post-Brexit world, many of Irelands business concerns have centred on the financial services indust Handcrafted LUXUrY project in association witH braziL associates arcHitects Drumleck, Castlebellingham, Co. Louth (Exit 15 of M1, only 45mins from Dublin & Belfast) T: 042 937 2625 E: info@oconnorsofdrumleck.ie Showroom by appointment only www.oconnorsofdrumleck.ie DOLCE & GABBANA AW17 Ive been lucky to witness the STORY of the CENTURY. CAITRÍONA PERRY The AW17 catwalks reflected diversity, strength and individuality. What does it take to stand out? PENNY McCORMICK is inspired by five role models CAITRÍONA PERRY BECAUSE: Having caused a stir in the Oval O PEOPLE PRIME TIME WATCH: First They Killed My Father, on September 15, directed by Angelina Jolie, 42. An adaptation of Cambodian author and human rights activist Loung Ungs memoir of surviving the Khmer Rouge regime from 1975 to 1978; the story is told through Ungs eyes from the age of five to nin PEOPLE ADEKOYA WEARS: black tulle blouse; pink pleat-front skirt; both Simon Rocha at Havana, Donnybrook Dublin 4. Photographed by Veronika Faustmann. Make-up by Bianca Rafaella using MAC Cosmetics. MELISSA HAMILTON 28, Irish ballerina and first soloist with The Royal Ballet BECAUSE: At 17 she was PEOPLE LARAGH MC CANN BECAUSE: Having worked with the best creatives in the fashion business, McCann, 27, is putting her experience to good use, serving up several strong directorial projects MC CANN WEARS: Lilac sweater with gold embellishment; lilac and burgundy wool skirt; brown patent leather PEOPLE BEATTIE WEARS: Forest green fringe midi dress, at Zara. Shot on location at Residence, St Stephens Green, Dublin 2. Photographed by Al Higgins. Make-up by Aoife Smith at Brown Sugar Dublin; Hair by Tina Mooney at SugarCubed Clarendon Street. DAVID BEATTIE BECAUSE: As an author, blogger and PEOPLE AGELESS STYLE MYRTLE ALLEN 93, cultural icon BECAUSE: She has had a profound influence on how Irish food and cuisine is perceived internationally, and was the subject of a recent documentary by David Hare. ODONOGHUE WEARS: Claret satin doublebreasted tuxedo suit; black bag with bee motif; b See this Dublin project - www.millerbrothers.ie/gloss/ Awakening Stone, Creating Beauty We create beautiful worktops, floors and surfaces with craft and precision, we awaken stone, allowing it reach its true potential. Charvey Lane Rathnew Co. Wicklow A67 V635 T. 0404 32222 F. 0404 32838 E. sale PHOTOGRAPH BY LOUISE SA MUELSON FIRST PERSON THE MOTHER OF INVENTION Seven years ago, creative director and stylist, Paula Hughes lifestyle was a whirlwind of fashion shoots and long-distance travel, then she and her husband received the terrible news that their two-year daughter had a rare neu FIRST PERSON All our hopes and dreams for Kayla, our plans for our and her future in smithereens. We were looking at a syndrome that would rob our little girl of the most basic abilities. She would need one-on-one care, for the rest of her life. Shed never be able to talk to us, communicate with us PROMOTION French illustrator QUENTIN MONGE has created a series of bright and graphic artworks inspired by Kronenbourg BLANC. We talked exclusively to Quentin about his work, his inspiration and life in Paris llustrator Quentin Monges graphic works are full of light and sunshine, making him the id PROMOTION I GET THIS WARM SUNLIGHT ON MY BALCONY AT THIS TIME OF DAY SO ITS A GOOD TIME TO SIT AND HAVE A BEER, PUT SOME VINYLS ON. Paris, where Monge lives, is a big source of inspiration for him. My studio is in the 11th arrondissement, a really popular area with lots of young people, bars and r STAND UP & STAND OUT MY FICTIONAL HEROINE IS LARA CROFT. WHEN IM OFF DUTY, I SPEND TIME WITH MY SON AND GO TO THE GYM. BARA UP FRONT LEFT: NICOLE, 22, WEARS: Striped polo-neck top; cream shearling jacket with gold zips; red velvet skirt with gold zips; all TOMMY HILFIGER. Burgundy leather lace-up BOLD MOVE CORDELIA, 50, WEARS: Colourblock wrap skirt, Carolyn Donnelly The Edit, d79, DUNNES STORES. Burgundy sweater with side slits, d12.95; burgundy quilted velvet coat, d69.95; both ZARA. 18ct gold Mesh Scarf earrings, Elsa Peretti for TIFFANY & CO. IM INVOLVED IN THE AMERICAN ARTS DEPARTMENT STAND UP & STAND OUT THERE ARE SO MANY MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO BECOME A MODEL THESE DAYS AS THE FASHION WORLD HAS REALISED BEAUTY COMES IN ALL SHAPES, SIZES, COLOURS AND AGES. CORDELIA MASTER PIECES CORDELIA WEARS: Camel wool full-length coat with cape sleeves; camel cashmere sweater; both MAX MARA, EARN YOUR STRIPES NICOLE WEARS: Red striped tunic; red stripe shorts; silver Gabrielle leather bag; silver glitter boots; all CHANEL. Red and black lacquer bangles, Elsa PerettI, d540 each, TIFFANY & CO. IF YOURE INTERESTED IN BEING A MODEL, WORK ON BEING CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE IN YOUR SKIN. EAT STAND UP & STAND OUT NEW FOCUS LEFT: BARA WEARS: Black wool jacket; black wool waistcoat; red silk shirt; black cage velvet shoes; all HERMÉS. RIGHT: CORDELIA WEARS: Red faux-fur check coat; white patent leather knee-high boots; both MIU MIU. Red knit sweater, d57; red knit skirt, d70; both Autogra CAMERA READY BARA WEARS: Navy wool sweater; navy check wide-leg trousers; black kittenheel ankle boots; black leather beret; red JAdior leather flap bag with embellished wide shoulder strap; all CHRISTIAN DIOR. THIS SEASON ILL BE WEARING WIDE BELTS, FLORALS AND A TOUCH OF RED. BARA MEET THE TEAM L COMPETITION VISIT WWW.THEGLOSS.IE AND YOU COULD WIN... A FRAGRANCE EXPERIENCE AT THE BURREN PERFUMERY WORTH OVER c1,200 Sadie Chowen THE BURREN PERFUMERY, in the heart of Co Clare, is a rare Irish gem, creating natural and organic beauty products using the highest quality natural ingredients. Eve Beauty LOS THE G L S EXC USIVE DRESS UP Blend it like Beckham with the designers glamorous new beauty collection. Sarah Halliwell met her in London 4 W hen youre photographed as regularly as Victoria Beckham, you learn plenty of tricks along the way. As the designer launches a whole new beaut AH HALLI WE LL Buffet SEA POWER Why were diving into marine beauty O f all the wonder ingredients we come across each week at the beauty desk, from blueberries to turmeric, the one that has instant appeal is anything connected to the sea. Regular sea swimmers swear by the bracing effects of s BEAUTY THE COLLECTION GIAMBATTISTA VALLI Some beauty collections feature star products; others are just desirable in their entirety. Welcome to Travel Diary, CHANELs AW17 make-up. We defy you to resist the Palette Essentielle (c60), with concealer, highlighter and cheek colour in one neat compact; THIS WONDERFUL LITTLE PLACE . . . A LVO R, PO RTU GAL PR manager at Claridges hotel in Mayfair, Orla Hickey loves dining in this tranquil fishing village C laridges always has a wonderful buzz about it and is such a great place to people watch. I joined eight years ago in August 2009, straight fr TR ISH DES E I E FOO D Y N B FOOD L Navigating trends in food fashion, TRISH DESEINE finds an interesting green scene emerging as autumn arrives ... ike it or not, food has become the new social currency and preferred form of artistic expression of the masses, and there are few signs tha A JEWELLED INTERIORS LIFE Kenneth Jay Lane was known as the King of Faux and his jewellery and vintage pieces are now collectors items. Before his death, POLLY DEVLIN visited the designer in his maximalist Park Avenue residence in New York I THE SUMPTUOUS SALON Orientalist paintings glow against the chocola of Marie-Blanche de Polignac, the daughter of couturier Jeanne Lanvin. The mahogany and faux ebony surround of the overmantel and fireplace is copied from the Empireinspired doors of her library, designed by architect Emilio Terry, and there are some wonderful paintings, including one of The Sleep o Reveal your inner virtuoso Let your culinary brilliance shine through with De Dietrichs precision technology. Our new collection places you in control of your cooking so that your finest dishes express every nuance of their flavour, provoking the purest, most intense culinary pleasure. For more info BOOKS SPEAKING VOLUMES Update your coffee table with these covetable books BEDSIDE TABLE What is JUSTINE PICARDIE reading? Editor-in-chief of Harpers Bazaar and Town & Country, Picardie is the author of five books. Her newly-reissued Coco Chanel The Legend and The Life, is the definitive biograp At home with perfection. Created through the perfect marriage of form and function. Realm Concepts Ltd. The Waterfront, Hanover Quay, Dublin 2 Tel. 01 480 44 00, hello@realm.ie www.bulthaup-hanoverquay.ie Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram @bulthaupHQ L S EXC USIVE GAME CHANGER LOS THE G Though the work of Northern Irish designer Jonathan Anderson may be an aquired taste, theres no denying his unique vision, technical brilliance and ground-breaking approach to fashion, says PENNY McCORMICK Jonathan Anderson loves Constance Spry. Im delighted This Glossy Life influence on his aesthetic. In the past he has also admitted that humour is a part of his design arsenal (check the souwester hats in the AW17 collection or the show invite on Irish linen with the words You Cant Take It With You, for evidence) while his inspirations have run the gam THIS GLOSSY LIFE Artist Kelly Beeman caught the attention of Jonathan Anderson on Instagram, and now her pictures have found their way onto his pieces. JW ANDERSON AW17 JW Andersons workshop; a collaborative retail space in London MY SCENT Loewe 001. JONATHAN ANDERSON MUSIC When I work, I list It all looks better through a Fairco window Upgrade your house to a Fairco home and experience the highest level of styling, craftsmanship and security Jim Toal, Managing Director www.fairco.ie